Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
