Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
