some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize