I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Your dad touched me again.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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