He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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