My hand turned me down
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
