it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
