Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
