i think my tv is drunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
