I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
