So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I smell stomach acid.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
