I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think my moral compass just broke
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
