I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
