My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
