This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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