I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
