it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you would pick up someone in the library
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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