did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
