Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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