that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
