She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
