I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
