For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just googled if crying burns calories
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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