I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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