i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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