guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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