the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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