We won't sleep together?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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