i think my tv is drunk
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think I just sharted jello shots
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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