Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
