We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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