Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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