I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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