we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
