I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
