I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
