he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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