You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
