just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize