Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
