Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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