I'm eating all of the evidence.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize