one two three fourrrrnication!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
