you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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