If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize