I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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