That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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