You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
