good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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