Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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