you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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