mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
