Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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