What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
