we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
