Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
