I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
